


Not a Lie

by SarcasticGayPotato



Category: Portal (Video Game)
Genre: Android GLaDOS, Don't copy to another site, Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff, Post-Portal 2, chell gets to have her cake and eat it too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-02-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:22:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22934011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SarcasticGayPotato/pseuds/SarcasticGayPotato
Summary: In which GLaDOS follows through on a promise that she had never planned on keeping.
Relationships: Chell/GLaDOS
Comments: 6
Kudos: 217





	Not a Lie

This wasn’t going to be difficult.  
  


In the vast expanse of tasks that would be considered _difficult_ \- great feats of science, trying to make ATLAS and P-Body useful, not killing humans with deadly neurotoxin- this would not rank even close among them.  
  
  
People made cakes all the time.  
  


_Aperture_ made cakes; with merely a press of a button, there would be an aesthetically perfect, mostly nontoxic, baked good just waiting for a deserving test subject to consume it.  
  


If GLaDOS had simply been allowed to use that process, this would’ve been over in a heartbeat, and she could’ve gone back to more _important_ things.  
  


But no, Chell specified that she wanted _GLaDOS_ to make her a cake for her birthday, by _hand_.  
  


GLaDOS regretted ever letting the human look at a calendar in her time down here long enough to figure out when her birthday was, and start asking for things.   
  


Who was Chell to be making demands anyway? All she did on this date all those years ago was have the misfortune of being _born_ ; that was hardly something to pamper her over. If anything, GLaDOS ought to have used this day to thank Chell’s mother for having the common sense to _abandon_ the lunatic not long after.

  
The fact that GLaDOS was obliging her didn’t _mean_ anything. It was just easier to keep such a destructive force pacified rather than risk being murdered again.  
  


So, as GLaDOS reluctantly resigned herself to her mobile, _android_ form- another idea of the lunatic’s; to make it so _humanoid_ \- she set off in the early hours of the morning, given that she didn’t need to sleep. Best to get this done so that Chell could wake up, see that GLaDOS had easily completed her _menial_ task, and then wouldn’t be pestering her about it.  
  


That was, assuming that the smell of _burning_ didn’t wake her up at 2am first.  
  


_Stupid_ test subject kitchens, with their _stupidly_ ineffective appliances… what _stupid_ scientist made such a _terrible_ design choice? Whoever it was ought to be dead-  
  


Oh, wait, they already were.  
  


Letting that thought give her a small sliver of satisfaction, GLaDOS disposed of the smoking remains of her first attempt before turning back to the counter. That was a fluke. This time, she’d have it over and done with before she knew it.  
  


This wasn’t going to be difficult. Right?

...

It was 10am when Chell finally got out of bed, evidently taking her birthday as an excuse to sleep in several hours later than usual. Just because GLaDOS was letting Chell under her roof didn’t mean she wanted the human thinking that she was going soft; so she made a habit of not-so-nicely waking Chell up at 7am every morning.  
  


But this time, she hadn’t. 

  
Chell slowly roused herself from sleep, lazily padding her way out from her room towards the rest of the living quarters GLaDOS had so graciously gifted her, no doubt to make herself a cup of coffee- another _luxury_ , mind you.

  
Her wild mane of dark hair was untamed and messy as it tumbled over her shoulders, and her usually powerful stance was cheapened by the way she slouched in her pajamas. Chell looked great terrible, and on any other day, GLaDOS would’ve taken the chance to make a snide comment- or twenty- about it.  
  


However, on any other day, GLaDOS _wouldn’t_ have been standing in the middle of Chell’s kitchen; covered in a dusting of flour, specks of batter, and smears of frosting, her left eye _twitching_ dangerously.

  
Chell had stopped dead in her tracks, blinking and staring like a slack-jawed idiot at the sight before her.  
  
  
“Don’t you _dare_ say a word.”  
  


GLaDOS brought her gaze to Chell’s, hoping that her golden glare would bore holes into her companion’s thick skull and instill some kind of fear or respect. Unfortunately, it had rather the _opposite_ effect; as she watched Chell’s previously groggy expression perk up with a sort of sparkle in those grey-blue eyes.  
  


‘ _I wasn’t going to start now._ ’

  
Oh, GLaDOS should break those hands of hers.  
  


“I am _never_ doing anything for you _ever_ again, do you understand?”

  
GLaDOS straightened up from where she had been hunched over the mess-coated countertop, standing up to her full height as Chell came closer, that infuriatingly smug smile still sitting pretty on her lips.  
  


‘ _I’m sure you won’t._ ’  
  


GLaDOS wasn’t sure how Chell had adapted sarcasm into her silent communications, but she wasn’t quite sure she appreciated being on the receiving end of it.  
  


“Well _there’s_ your cake, so you’d better enjoy it. It’s the last one you’re getting.”  
  


GLaDOS jabbed her finger in the direction of the confection; a black forest cake with a single, currently unlit candle, sitting rather _pristine_ amongst the disaster that was the rest of its surroundings. GLaDOS, of course, had no intention of letting Chell find out about the remains of the past _dozen_ failed attempts that had been sent to their graves in the incinerator.   
  


“Of course I wouldn’t recommend you enjoy it _too_ much, polite society tends to frown on those who eat entire cakes by themselves-”  
  


GLaDOS found herself cut off prematurely by the feeling of warm flesh against her artificially-crafted lips, as Chell clumsily pressed her mouth into what could only _generously_ be called a kiss.   
  


Granted, GLaDOS didn’t actually need her mouth to talk, that much was mostly for appearances- because _apparently_ Chell found it ‘creepy’ for GLaDOS to speak without moving her lips- but she kept quiet for the few seconds that the contact lasted before Chell pulled back, licking her lips and looking more _insufferable_ than ever.  
  


“-...What was _that_? Did you even brush your teeth this morning? Just because I can’t personally taste anything doesn’t mean I don’t have standards, you know.”  
  


GLaDOS crossed her arms over her chest, ignoring the slight whirring of her internal fans working just a little bit harder as she spoke. She would’ve liked to say that this was the first time Chell had done something like this, but the truth was far from that. The lunatic was so brain-damaged that apparently she had started to impose her misguided human habits onto other, non-human entities. GLaDOS only let her do it because…  
  


‘ _You had a bit of frosting on your bottom lip, I thought I’d clean it off for you._ ’

  
...Because _something_ ; she couldn’t quite remember what that reason was.  
  


“We both know that’s far from an effective method of cleaning things.”

  
Chell simply smiled at her.  
  


‘ _Thanks for the cake._ ’  
  


GLaDOS huffed, diverting her gaze from Chell’s ridiculous expression to focus on quite literally _anything_ else in the room.  
  


“...Enjoy the anniversary of your birth.”


End file.
